Kelly Baddeley , Stoke On Trent, United Kingdom

I love to make light of the most challenging situations using innocent humour without causing offence. I like to give day to day accounts of the struggles of being a full time mum to four children. I like to know that people can relate to my reports, and use my platform as a kind of therapy. Motherhood can be lonely, challenging and just plain exhausting. As humans I believe that we are always looking for reassurance that we are "normal". As a writer I am honest, about my dreams, my failures, my mental health, my well being and that of my families. I attended University at the age of 36 to complete my foundation degree in Journalism and Media, only to find that the follow on degree in this subject had been removed. Yet again, another brick wall, a swift change in direction, and to find that there are more crossroads than I could cope with. Juggling my ambitions and trying to be a top notch mum really did take a huge impact on my mental health. Were there any other mothers that felt they couldn't succeed at anything? Was I just hopeless? Am I going to remain on benefits forever due to the lack of school hours friendly jobs available? You watch movies that show these perfect, pristine mothers that must get up at 5 am after a good 12 hour sleep, feed their children a nutritious breakfast, dress them in their newly pressed uniform, drop them to school with kisses and smiles, and then head to work to pay for their beautiful house in the country and their brand new range rover. Heck, what am I doing wrong? After much research I found that actually, i am just the normal mum trying her best. Well, that might sound reassuring, but believe me, this is not the way I planned my life yet alone motherhood.

So, this is me in a nutshell. I am self critical beyond belief, I am a trier, and god loves one of those, right? Maybe! So I try everything, but success certainly isn't knocking on my door. So I stumble across blogging during my foundation degree, and i think YES! I could totally do this! I am honest enough to entertain, and i certainly do not care about any judgement that is cast upon me. I started to write the odd blog, usually about my horses, but this wasn't ringing my bell, and it wasn't floating my boat, that boat had a hole in it somewhere. I started writing a personal diary, more for the assistance to my Psychiatrist than anything else, but it actually made a really interesting read. My diary was usually with not being Mary Poppins, and the struggles with my mood disorder and severe anxiety. These entries would not just be appealing to other mothers, but to those who struggle with having a rather unhealthy mind. I wish i could of found something similar sometime ago, believe me the reassurance would of made me feel a lot less hostile towards myself.

Here I am, I present myself truthfully, and in quite some depth. I can offer personal advice from my experiences, and i aim just lighten the load to mothers everywhere that seem so persistent in completely stamping on our own heads.

i'd like to mention that last year i found out i have dyslexia. This discovery was amazing. For years i just thought I was thick, lazy even, but no, there is a word for my mistakes and lack of understanding. I now class this as a get out card when faced with sticky situations. When you have a disability you get priority access, so why not? I have struggled for around 34 years, so i'm going to get my monies worth.

I have a weakness, haven't we all if we are honest? I have too many ideas to keep up with. Some i have passed on, they actually ran with my ideas and made successful business's from them. Hang on, why the hell couldn't I do that with my ideas? I believe, therefor that my strength is creativity to produce ideas, not to act upon them.

We try another day, we hope and pray, but in the end, I just have to be thankful for my health, the health of my children, and that, is truly enough. Until the bad days come because I just watched the Brady Bunch, and that, is something I certainly am not!